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Overwhelmed Worried Wife


Happily married to an amazing man with UC. We have four beautiful daughters together & I no longer know how to cook for my family =)

Overwhelmed Worried Wife

My husband had UC prior to our getting together, we thought he was healed.

I had no idea it could go into remission, it has been over 10 years! Well now it’s back & my handsome man is struggling so much & it’s breaking my heart. I can’t “fix’ this & I feel so very helpless. I’m a stay at home mom & I handle ALL the cooking for my family so now I feel completely overwhelmed. No beating around the bush we’re not all super healthy here, however it’s not like we have fast food everyday. We do eat as healthy as possible for a family of 6 on a limited budget.  Now I need to make certain my husband is eating well & we all will benefit but I feel so clueless.

I feel a majority of this falls on my shoulders because I’m the chef, always have been & I’m okay with that. I really do enjoy cooking but I can’t possibly contribute to his condition because it’s just too hard to cook right for him. Although on the flip side I feel like my world is turned upside down too, I can’t tell him any of this because he has enough on his plate as it is.

I do very much welcome any advice regarding how I can best support my husband. And PLEASE budget friendly recipe ideas for a large family, including snacks. I would like to rid my home of all food temptations for my hubby & he LOVES to munch. I have searched & scoured the internet but my head feels like it’s going to pop with all the allowed/not allowed. Mind you my children are small so not looking for fancy & fortunately no food allergies for my wee ones. Thanks so much for letting me vent & cry.

written by Tina

submitted in the family members story page

17 thoughts on “Overwhelmed Worried Wife”

  1. Hi Tina,

    Thank you for sharing your story, and letting out some of what’s going on with your life and family at the moment. Although it’s hard to believe, things will get better, this is for sure not going to go on forever.

    I’m going to email you a free copy of the two ebooks I’ve written, one of them outlines the meals that my wife and I make since you are having lots of questions about food and food ideas. Be sure to read the main book as well, there’s lots of sections in there that I think will help you out as a spouse in making it through these tuff times also.

    Wishing you the best,


  2. A lot of people will recommend probiotics, as do I but they aren’t exactly cheap. Vsl3 costs a fortune. I have been making my own fermented scd kefir and yogurt for years and I can’t imagine ever stopping. Same benefits, tasty and nutritious. Other fermented foods are worth looking into as well. But fiberous stuff like sauerkraut is tough if you are flaring.

    1. I completely agree about the homemade probiotics. They work wonders and are cost effective. Also, if the sauerkraut is to fibrous when flaring, drinking just a bit of the juice is a great option.

  3. Adam! Thank you so much! I feel so blessed & excited to look through the books. Peter & Andy thank you for your advice, I do plan on getting him some probiotics & already make my own yogurt. But what is scd?

    1. Awesome!

      You’re most welcomed!

      SCD stands for “Specific Carbohydrate Diet” and its based on an overall idea of changing the gut bacteria within the colon. You can read or actually watch some videos I shot with a microbiologist and immunologist from Stanford Univeristy who is a world expert on gut bacteria at this link here:

      (those six links go to different videos from 1 day I spent at Stanford University’s Microbiology/Immunology Lab)

  4. Tina,
    I feel very much the same as you. I’m a worried, overwhelmed mother of a 17year old son who has been battling UC since he was 13. He has been hospitalized twice. We’ve tried all the meds from pentasa, lialda, 6mp, prednisone, flagyl, protonix, humira, and now remicade. He has experienced some remission over the past 4 years but never long term. The remicade has not proven completely successful. He has had 3 treatments so far. We have begun the SCD diet but have not seen results yet. I’m consumed with this disease as I hate to see my child suffer. I’ve cried so much and feel so helpless. As a full-time working mother and wife, I feel overwhelmed trying to comply with the diet in hopes of bringing some relief to my son. My husband and I are at a loss.

    1. Hello Susan and Tina,
      My daughter is 17 and has had colitis for 3 years. We have learned to cook without wheat, soy, dairy, gluten, corn or egg. She is doing well. My favorite brands are “Cadia” ; “Namaste”; “Enjoy Life” and “So Delicious – Coconut products”.

      Occasionally she wants to go to a party and not stand out so she will take “1” RedBridge Sorghum Beer with her. That way nobody ever pressures her to have a drink. Alcohol and UC are a bad combination.

      She also takes VSL#3 probiotics. It is more expensive but it works for her.

      Recently, we have started working with the Biamonte Center for Clinical Nutrition because she tested positive for yeast overgrowth in the colon and parasite overgrowth (normally existing ones that are out of balance). They are treating her with herbal combinations that seem to be really working well. Her colon is about 95% healed. It has been a long 3 years, but she is doing well.

  5. My rule is if it has white flour and or white sugar I don’t eat it. Stick to meat vegetables and some fruit. Try to leave processed stuff alone. It is hard but hang in there.

  6. Tina Hi,
    My wife has had UC for at least five years now and I know what it feels like o feel overwhelmed. I’m the chef in the family. We’ve been on the SCD diet for about five months now ( I’m on it just to support her) and I think it’s been the best thing for her. I make tons of the home-made yogurt and tons of that four hour cooking chicken soup. It’s relatively cheap. It’s just chicken thighs, carrots, garlic, salt and cook for four hours. We didn’t know why four hours but a friend of ours said that she was watching the Dr, Oz show and he said that when you cook chicken until it falls off the bone. The bones emit something that is good for the stomach. Be well.

  7. Tina, can fully understand what you are going through. My husband recently diagnosed. I am quite confused as to what he should eat, his GI says it makes no difference ,its the medication that heals.
    For this reason I am finding it difficult to get my husband, who loved food, to accept a new way of eating. He is starving without bread and potatoes with each meal. I have tried natural probiotic yogurt, and probiotics, and low fibre diet, along with his prescribed medication, Steroids,Pentasa,Asacol, to date no remission. It defitintely affects the lives of the whole family, activities etc., curtailedunless in remission. Adams books and website will give you more knowledge of the disease and remedies that might help. I hope your husband gets into remission soon. Take care. MN

  8. Hi Tina!

    It’s all so very confusing with such contradictory info out there regarding UC, diet and lifestyle. I also sympathize with you as having temptations in the house is hard to resist. I have UC, my husband doesn’t (though he has severe nut and shellfish allergies and only likes white fish). I’m the primary chef in our household but I feel guilty for depriving him of certain foods. I guess though if he cuts back on certain things such as sugars and processed foods it’ll be better for him long term. Setting up good eating habits for your children will certainly help them too.

    When I’m flaring really badly, I find everything troublesome. To get some energy I make chicken stock (from scratch) this is very budget friendly and easy on digestion. Gradually I will add some veggies and small pieces of chicken to the stock as I recover. I also drink water and coconut water.

    I am just getting over a very long and bad flare up. I’ve just started the SCD. Today was my first day sampling my homemade yogurt. I have to say I never liked yogurt before. This tastes ok! Maybe due to the longer fermentation time.

    Try not to get stressed yourself. You guys will figure things out. If hubby achieved such a lengthy remission, I’m sure he will be able to again. People on this website are so helpful and supportive too. Xxxx

  9. Hi Tina,

    SCD yogurt is just yogurt fermented for 24hours to minimize the lactose and increase the bacteria count. Definitely look into Kefir as well, I managed to get some starter(proper grains) for free of a neighbor after posting on a local forum. It’s has more different types of bacteria and is more likely to do something positive than yogurt. I feel like 24 hour yogurt/kefir are more reliable than(non-prescription) probitics as they are guaranteed alive, whereas with over the counter probio’s it really depends how they were stored and shipped.


  10. Thank you all soooo much for the wonderful advice & input. When I first posted I was literally crying because I felt so alone & I’m not even the one with uc! You have all been a great support to me. In just the few weeks that we’ve changed our eating habits my husband has seen some improvements. We know a few things to stay away from & a few that surprisingly don’t hurt him. Now I do have a question, scd yogurt. Okay how do I make it? I make my own yogurt all the time. After warming milk to appropriate degree I add starter then it sits anywhere from 9-10 hours. Then into the fridge with a towel to absorb the liquid. Its a little more detailed but you get the jist. What should I be doing to make the scd yogurt? Would it be sitting for 24hours before the fridge & does that change the flavor?

  11. Tina,
    Peace. My fiancee has horrible UC and really struggles with dieting. The chicken soup Is clutch…put it on and watch a movie esp if he is too drained to do anything else. Adam’s book is great…so is “BREAKING THE VICIOUS CYCLE.”
    In Him,

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