Worried Wife

Introduction:

I am 37 and married with 3 children. My Husband has UC and I am interested in finding out more about the emotional side of UC.

Some more about me:

I am a teacher in Australia. My husband and I have 3 children. Our youngest has type 1 diabetes which makes our life extra challenging with UC in our life as well.

Worried Wife

I am desperate to hear from others about the emotional side of UC. MY husband of 13 years has suddenly left me and says he doesn’t love me. He just wants to be by himself. He began a high and long dose of prednisolone two weeks before he left and I believe this may be affecting him along with being fed up with his UC which he has never accepted and keeps to himself a lot.

I have tried to talk to him about it before but he just doesn’t let me in. He also doesn’t like to discuss it with his family. He was very reluctant to use prednisolone but his UC was out of control.

He refuses to seek help and is just putting up with side effects.
His leaving has come as a complete shock and I don’t know how to get through to him.
He is 37 and diagnosed about 6 years ago. He will not contemplate surgery.

The last 2 years have been especially hard with our youngest child being diagnosed with type 1 diabetes at age 2. I have to check his blood glucose levels throughout the night making me tired and not having much energy left for my husband. He has continued working throughout his illness but is getting fed up with the inconvenience of UC and is considering quitting his job as well.

All of a sudden our whole life has been turned upside down and I have no real answers. I would like to hear from anyone who has had a similar experience and any advice. Is it possible for Prednisolone to cause this change of personality?
I am scared the longer he stays away the longer he will close up in to himself and not come back to our family.

written by “Worried Wife”

submitted in the colitis venting area




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11 Responses to Worried Wife

  1. Carly August 25, 2013 at 10:32 am #

    It most definitely can cause personality changes, irrational behavior, mood swings, depression, even psychosis. This is not the time for him to be making big decisions. Is there anyway that you can get in touch with his doctor so he or she can explain that to him?

  2. bev August 25, 2013 at 2:46 pm #

    Hi Bron,

    Great name! What is it short for, if anything, if you don’t mind me asking?

    This is all so sad. UC really can and does flip your whole world upside down. In so many ways.

    When I am in a flare (when the UC is active), I tend to go inward, as well. It’s like I do not want to visit my problems on anyone else, including my husband (who is probably tired of it as well after almost 17 years). I get so sick of this condition, and like you said, it’s inconvenience. It just makes life that much more difficult…

    Along with that, steroids can and do have nasty effects, including on the personality. Hopefully, someone will tell your husband this. It can make an otherwise sane person do rash things that they may regret later.

    For now, just make yourself and your children happy.

    Bev

  3. Andy August 25, 2013 at 6:13 pm #

    Steroids can rely twist your mind. There is such s thing as steroid psychosis, watch out for any signs of it or maybe ask the doc to check him up.

    Otherwise take a look at mutaflor, an excellent pro biotic available down there. I started it recently and got it shipped from Australia.

  4. Paula August 25, 2013 at 8:09 pm #

    As a UC patient and having used prednisone, yes it can impact one’s mental state and make one overly sensitive. However, I also believe in chemical imbalances as a result of losing nutrients if you are going through a bad flare up. I have been through times when I thought it would be much easier on my husband if he didn’t have to deal with my mood swings and borderline depressive state during rough flare-ups, so I can see how your husband may think that walking away may be a relief for you and his children. I also emphasize with his feeling of leaving his job…it can be stressful and exhausting dealing with a flare-up while at work (is he able to have special arrangements to work from home when in a flare? If his employer could accommodate, that would bring some hope and peace of mind). He may also want to try probiotics which many UC patients use to supplement the use of medication. I use Florastor (in the US) which comes with yeast and seems to provide “me” with good results. It may take trial and error for one to find the probiotic that works best. I suggest getting his parents involved or someone who may be close to him…you have plenty on your hands and need to reach out for HELP! I hope things get better and that he can realize there are thousands of patients in similar situations.

  5. Deborah August 26, 2013 at 9:56 am #

    Living with UC can be very emotionally draining. I have had UC for 24 years. I have been married for 13 years. Before I married my husband I really considered if I wanted to get married at all. Its one thing being sick, but its another thing sharing your life with someone when you know that your illness is going to effect them as well. Maybe not directly or intentionally, but I do believe it effects the people that love you and are sharing a life with you. When I am depressed, or feeling sorry for myself, or struggling with my meds, or going to doctors visits which cost an arm and a leg, am missing work because I’m sick, ect.. I feel horrible . I often feel like I am more of a burden than anything else. I am always apologizing for being sick. I think of all the things my husband wouldn’t have to put up with if I wasn’t sick and it makes me feel bad. On the other hand though, I know how much he loves me. I am sure that your husband is going through some sort of depression and just does not know what to do. Its hard living with UC. A lot of people do not understand the physical and emotional strain it has on you. I really hope that things work out for you. Has your usband ever gone to a support group for people suffering with UC. It really helps put things in perspective to have others to talk to who are going through the same thing. Good luck.

  6. pete August 26, 2013 at 3:43 pm #

    HI BRON
    It sounds like you got some bad problems and meds like prednazone asacol hd can make you crazy belive it . Been there done that but if your has severe uc like me surgery is hard to condone . But if you read around in this forum it can change his life! After sugery yes I got the bag no more meds for me no more racing to bathroom no more weakness no more blood loss and he will regain strenth back !
    I sure hopes this helps and keep the faith things have a way of comeing out for the better.

  7. Hopton August 27, 2013 at 8:03 pm #

    Prednisone made me feel crazy—racing mind constantly and I couldn’t get good sleep. In retrospect, I should not have been made important decisions during that time, because my mind was unstable. Although I could not really recognize it at the time, I did realize I felt odd. It is important to stay in touch with a doctor while on prednisone because you need to come off it slowly.
    You seem to be describing depression. I felt depressed when I had low iron (after 8 years of having colitis). Taking an Iron IV really helped (Venofer). Since I don’t tolerate oral iron (studies show oral iron irritates UC), the iron iv was perfect for me. My GI didn’t stay on top of my iron, despite the fact that low iron can cause many symptoms—and impairs decision making.
    Maybe you see a theme: Some UC side effects and drugs make it hard to make good decisions. In addition, the list of currently approved drugs to treat UC is rather poor (effectiveness + safety). Therefore, it’s easy to feel a lot of fear and hopelessness. It’s hard. It particularly hard to feel alone. Learning how to deal with the illness emotionally is the hardest part for me. Meditation practice has help. Talking about it helps. Sending love to your family from the U.S.

  8. bron August 28, 2013 at 6:39 am #

    My Husband still will not listen. I have been to his GP who doesnt believe Prednisolone can cause personality change. I am sure he is depressed but is the type of person who does not discuss his problems. For now I have to accept his decision and move forward which is extremely hard at the moment. We were together for 20 years in total so it’s hard for me to let go. It doesnt make sense and maybe I am just looking for excuses for his leaving us. Thankyou to everyone who responded. Bron (Bronwyn)

    • bev August 28, 2013 at 7:44 am #

      I’m so sorry, Bron. (Really love your name…thanks for telling what Bron is short for…it sounds Welsh).

      Like I said…perhaps it’s time to take care of you and your kids and just be happy together. For now, anyway.

      Hopefully, your husband will be alright on his own.

  9. rico August 29, 2013 at 6:04 pm #

    hi,ive had the jpouch surgery done 1 year ago,and my life has been just as good again,my uc was out of control and i had to give in.i miss my colon so much but im able to do every thing i want,i just got back from jamaica with the wife and kids and i work too,my advice jpouch is the way to go,i did it in 2 steps im 41 years old.best of luck to you..

  10. Mrs. Hudson April 13, 2014 at 12:12 am #

    Bron,
    I’m so sorry your hubby is changing. I am also sorry that it has taken me 8 months to see this. OMG I can say I’ve been where you are. I hope by now that things have gotten better. My hubby has colitis and had the surgery for a j-pouch. Even after the surgery, his personality had been in the drain. This type of illness changes you. With therapy, he’s gotten much better. My story is on here somewhere. If I can find it, I’ll put the name in your feed. Also I am here if you need a sounding board.

    Phatima

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