UC vs. Relationships

I am feeling rather chatty these days as I am eye ball deep in UC frustration and rediscovering this great site.

All of us affected with UC can all take at least some portion from what is ailing another one, but I am just curious if any one sees any relationship effects from UC as well?

I am a Mommy. A lot is expected of us. I have a husband who is an outstanding father. We have been together for seven years (all of the time my UC was present) and still, at times, I feel like he does not “get it.”

I think he expects the running and never being able to go out for breakfast, but when UC really takes me. When I hardly have to strength to keep my eyes open … or I am not feeling so brave as to take to kids out of the house today, I don’t get a feeling of empathy from him.

This sounds like the flipside, but I often get told, “you are not taking care of yourself” when I feel that it is just me trying to deal. I’d like to ignore UC for as long as I could. I WANT TO be normal.

Right now is kind of a tough one because I WANT to rest, I don’t want to ignore it, but I am still a Mommy. NO REST FOR MOMMIES.

3 thoughts on “UC vs. Relationships”

  1. Jennifer! I HEAR You loud and clear! I some time think my husband doesn’t get it especially when it comes to meals! I know it’s not there faults! When my husband gets a case of the runs I always remind him that he just stepped into a day of my everyday life!

    One thing I have noticed about fellow Colitis buddies is we all have this drive inside us to be the best, to fight, to keep the running even when we are tired! We are fighters and because of that our partners or family has a hard time excepting when we are not feeling so well!

    I’m with you and I UNDERSTAND!

    1. Hi Michelle and Jennifer, I am Liz. I am new at this site and love it. I have a few co-workers with UC so that helps me as well. Finally people who know and understand me and have not even met me right!? I agree with colitis people being super strong and fighters, everyone I know with this disease so far is a fighter. Stronger than the average “well” person out there. I have felt the same way. I have had this for 12 years now. I am an athlete. I cycle and run and live in the gym, even during flare-ups I push myself to my limits. I refuse to give in to this illness. It will never “have” me. I have my days when I am very weak and running to bathroom all day. I hide it as much as I can from my boyfriend. We are new couple of only a little over a month. I told him about colitis. he is wonderful and very understanding. I don’t want him to see me weak. I don’t want the label of a sick person. He is always telling me to take care of myself and don’t work out too hard and give my body a rest, etc.. but he pushes me to be my best too. When I’m feeling good he will encourage activity and fun times. I think I love him alreasy! I still think that he doesn’t get all of it about my illness, but that’s ok. Our loved one’s know what we tell them, not what we don’t tell them. Sometimes you have to sit down and explain it to them in a way that they can understand and sometimes that means giving all the gory details, lol. I know it sounds bad, but it does help. I am with you both and I do understand too!!

  2. Hi Jennifer! It’s so awesome to hear your frustrations! I think UC totally affects relationships! I’m looking forward to motherhood, but I’m hoping to get my UC under control more :D That’s probably just wishful thinking!

    But I feel like that my husband is such a good sport for almost everything! He wanted to eat more healthy even before I started for UC. But things like gas and talking about my bowels still gets him a little embarrassed! It’s so my life now, but it’s not necessarily conversation some people tolerate too well.

    As for being a mom though, I think you’re doing fabulously. Since our symtopms come up at their own timing, it’s so important to remember that sometimes you will feel more courageous about leaving the house and other times you won’t. Even making that decision mean that you’re listening to your body and taking care of yourself. As for the sleep… I think you’re a supermom! Having any auto-immune disease is so draining and having kids is so draining, juggling both is a miracle! Way to keep going!

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