I don’t gamble. I win.
When people give me stink eye, I understand. I’d be jealous of my good looks, too.
I’m awesome. I’m also smart.
I betcha I run faster than an Olympic sprinter when I need a toilet.
Signs of the Colitis Boogie Man:
In remission, but still experiencing constipation and diarrhea, gut pain, inflamed joints… you get the picture. BUT NO BLEEDING! BOO-YAH!!!!
I was diagnosed six months ago after going to my family doctor for rectal bleeding. (When I pooped, I pooped blood and only blood because I lost my appetite and wasn’t eating. No food, no poop.) She sent me to a pysch ward because I was having panic attacks. (I think most people would panic when they start crapping only blood right after moving out of their parents and graduate high school.) When I got to the looney bin, I was so dehydrated and malnourished, I couldn’t walk more than a couple feet before I would collapse on the floor. I weighed just over 100 lbs- I lost 25-30 lbs in only a month of having that flare.
Needless to say, I was in such poor shape, that I was sent to a medical unit. I don’t remember much… I was high on dilaudid and morphine for the pain, and I was taking prednisone to help with the flare. I was told I either have Crohn’s or UC. I didn’t know what that was, and was afraid it’d kill me. At the time, dying seemed feasible. I mean, hello! I was shitting bright red blood and nothing the doctors did fixed it. The doctor would neither confirm nor deny that I was dying, and that scared me even more.
Fast forward six months.
I am alive, I don’t poop blood that often anymore,
but I often am in pain.
I try not to show it, but… sometimes I can’t help it. Someday, I’ll be able to run again without my gut screaming in pain. Someday, I’ll be able to eat the spiciest, greasiest food without having to curl up with a heating bad and a handful of Vicodin.
Someday, I’ll be able to go somewhere without looking for a toilet.
By the way… ever notice that the word “toilet” begins with “toil”? The guy that came up with that word clearly had IBD.
Where I’d Like to be in 1 year:
Prednisone- God awful. I suffer from anxiety and depression, and this just made it worse. I couldn’t watch a commercial about a child not getting his way without sobbing.
Morphine- Being on morphine is like taking a journey to heaven.
Dilaudid- Being on dilaudid is like being in heaven.
Vicodin- Works ok… but isn’t any fun. (hehe)
Remicade- Coolest sounding drug ever… but it stopped working the third time after I took it. :(
Humira- I am terrified of needles, but this drug worked really well. My GI took me off it bcause I freaked out so often whenever I had to give myself a shot.
Azothioprine- Supresses the immune system, but without needles. Yay! I seem to be doing ok with it.
written by UC Girl
submitted in the colitis venting area