Nearly two and a half years ago I met a woman that I have fallen in love with.
I knew from the beginning she was someone I could marry! We were very compatible with our personality, and values. I fell in love with her soul and inner beauty. She had so many beautiful qualities. However, the irony to this feeling was an accompanying feeling that in someway we weren’t the best fit. I don’t know why I felt this. I didn’t have much reason to.
It wasn’t until months later that I learned the woman of my dreams had been struggling with UC for over 8 years. Even when she told me for the first time I shrugged it off. I didn’t really know how much it really impacted her life.
A few months more and I began to realize she was using the bathroom a lot! It was then that I began to realize for the first time the lifestyle impact. I began to research as much as I could and quickly discovered that having Ulcerative Colitis impacts your life a lot.
I am an avid adventure enthusiast and self diagnosed perfectionist. This seems to not fit well with UC lifestyle at all!
Over the last two years we broke up more than once struggling with our differences, but the irony was I could never get over her. I couldn’t stop thinking about her when we weren’t together.
At the start of 2017 we were not together! I was living in India and she was back home in the US. It didn’t take long for me to want to Skype her every week and then everyday. When I returned in April we got right back together. I learned that although the effects of UC are not desirable her struggle with it has produced many beautiful personality qualities that I love!
We are now making plans to get married! Although I have learned a lot about UC, I fear there is a lot I don’t know about living with and being married to a partner who has UC. My hope is that some of you can help us both understand what to expect!
Questions for those who have UC or have a partner with Ulcerative Colitis:
1. What help do you expect from your partner?
2. What is the reality of getting into remission and how sustainable is it?
3. My partner has mainly used diet to control the symptoms but hasnt been successful in reaching remission. What are your thoughts on treatment?
4. I love outdoor adventures and traveling. I sometimes feel like I have to choose between her and my passion for exploring. What are some ways to work through this struggle or are we crazy for trying?
5. What else do you think I should know?
Thanks for all your help!
Some more about Jared:
I play the Uke! I have been to 30 countries! I snowboard!
written by Jared
submitted in the colitis venting area