The Gastro Doctor Rap

“What up UC’ers of the world!”

This post is an update to my “The Deep, The Dark, The Doodie Hole” post from last week.

In honor of Michaela’s and my possible move to a new apartment in Oakland, California really soon, I’m gonna start this posting off with a little rap and for some of you who can listen and watch, the video is right here for you:


This Song’s Titled:  “The Gastro Doctor Rap”

(and I’m pretty sure you’ll never hear it on the radio)


Beep-Bop, Beep-Bop, Beep-Bop, Beep-Bop,

Are you ready?..

So a few days ago, I went to the doc,

Not because I hurt, because I want to talk.

You see it been a while, since a doc took a peek,

Ain’t talking bout days, but almost 200 weeks.

I called up Valenzuela, and asked to put me down,

I want a GI consult, she could tell by my sound.

I wasn’t really looking for a drug pushing dude,

but a laid back GI who cared how I pooooooed.

She said right then, or maybe right there,

We got this doc named Stollman:  “Alright girl, i’ll be there!”

So my day came up, June 6th actually,

I sat in the lobby waiting – wondering bout his fee.

I know docs ain’t cheap, but it’s something you gotta do,

My deep dark doodie is worth a hundred dollar maybe two.

As my time came up, he opened the door and said,

“Come on in Adam, lets go to my office not the bed”

The GI was pretty cool, New York accent all the way,

We sat for an hour, I could’ve rapped with him all day.

He answered all my questions, he even said to me,

“You want to record your doodie probe, that’s just fine with me”

I told him about, the iHaveUC site,

He turned his computer on and said, “Damn that shit is tight!”

We was through with the visit,

I walked back to the desk.

We scheduled my doodie probe,

This doc definitely passed my test.

Beep-Bop, Beep-Bop, Beep-Bop, Beep-Bop,

-I’ll get into what the doctor and I talked about in an upcoming post.  I’ll also be posting a gastro doctor review after I get the colonoscopy, but at this point, he’d have to really jack something up for me not to write super awesome doctor review about him and his practice.  Until then, have a great week coming up!


11 thoughts on “The Gastro Doctor Rap”

  1. ….damn, that shit be tight….

    that doc for sure got that just right!!!

    so come on now, doug, barb, and ken and even deb…

    thanks to adam, ‘we’ might just have the best site on the web!!

    lol…not as good as you, but you got me goin’ adam, man


    1. Good luck with the doodie man probe en la manana. I wish you the best with the prepping. And I sure hope you got a few extra rolls of toilet paper for the night before buddy:)

  2. Adam: Wow……just wow…… :)

    It looks like you were trying to channel your inner Eminem, lol. But, in all seriousness I’m glad your visit went well.

    1. Yo Yo,

      whaz up big Lara??

      I be like this, I be like dat,
      Two rolls in one day, I know bout that:)

      I think its time Lara bust out the video and youtube it!! come on now girl!:)

  3. Adam, never pictured you as a rapper, imagined you as more of a Tom Petty kind of guy haha ,but props to the rap man. You can be the first rapper with UC.Are you going to stick with the hoodie/beanie combo look of eminem or go a little old school with the vanilla ice parachute pants.
    Ice ice baby! Haha
    Good hearing from you sir and have a good summer!
    Johnny drama

    1. What up Drama!

      Oh, you want me to start bustin the V Ice goodies eh….

      We’ll have to see bout dat…

      I think I gots a few chute pants stored somewhere proper.

      I’m hoping to see you out at a campsite this summer buddy, take care,

  4. Adam: I’m not sure you’re ready for me to bust out all my moves on youtube, lol. I wouldn’t want to show you up. :)

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