27 year old female living in Louisiana. Life is hell. Diagnosed 7 years ago at age twenty. Miserable existence and depressed. Wish I could be hopeful.
Some more about me:
No hobbies, no children or hopes of any in the future due to fear, housebound, and roommate of a boyfriend for several years. I wake up, work, watch tv, amd sleep. employed for 5 years and recently requested to not travel, and was told it may “limit my career growth.” Used to enjoy life but now most days are spent alone watching tv. Supportive parents that live hours away and are older.
Abdominal pain, diarrhea, urgency, anxiety, and self-diagnosed depression.
UC has ruined my life and dreams of what I thought it would be. I have been in denial for the last 7 years, and I am now trying to get a handle on the disease. Fed up and fatigued. Completely over it all. Reading stories on here gives me less hope. Colonoscopy next week to see if I have gotten worse. I have an awful GI doctor who explained the progression of UC to cancer in less than 5 minutes. Scared, alone, and numb.
I used to enjoy traveling and going out, but anxiety and fear have taken control. I know i don’t have it as bad as others, but to each individual it is their own personal hell. A close family member has colon cancer, and this is what sparked me to go back to a doctor 7 years after diagnosis. I have no hopes for a “normal” life with a family because I have turned into a miserable person. I thought the stories on here would give me inspiration and I just find myself crying. I long for a life I know will never exist. I should probably see a therapist or “get it together” but I am just over it.
At this point in time I don’t know what to do with myself. Do I find a new job that does not require travel? Move in with my parents so that I at least have decent human interaction on a daily basis? (Rhetoric). My anxiety of life and the future is at an all time high, and my response is to isolate myself from the world. I am so frustrated and should try to get a positive attitude and turn things around because I am the only one that can improve my situation; however, I have always been a glass half empty person. A “type A” personality as my last GI doctor penned in his notes.
Medications I’m Using:
Asacol 800mg 3 times a day. Try to eat yogurt when I’m not traveling with work and started talking probiotics recent, too early to tell if there is any benefit.
written by “Reminiscent”
submitted in the colitis venting area