Never The Same

Brittany from atlanta with husband

Me with my Husband

Meet Brittany:

Hey Guys! My name is Brittany and I am 29 years old. I live in Atlanta, GA. I have had Ulcerative Colitis for 2 years now!

Some more about me:

I have been married for a little over 6 years and we have a one year old child.

Never the Same

I was TOTALLY healthy until I became pregnant 2 years ago. All of the sudden I became extremely ill, throwing up, going to the restroom 25+ times a day, and having extreme pain and bleeding each time I went to the bathroom. At first I assumed it was because of the pregnancy and having miscarried before, I was honestly waiting to miscarrying again. But I was soon diagnosed with C-diff and began taking what seemed like every type of medication in the world.

The C-diff finally went away but I was still having bleeding and pain with my many trips to the bathroom each day. Around the 5 month mark of my pregnancy I was told I had UC. At the time I had no idea how much it would change my life and I assumed it would get better once I had the baby, but of course I was wrong about that. I will never be the same… I will never be the wife I was, I will never be the person who refuses to use public restrooms, the person who could walk for miles down the beach, or lay out for hours (that might be a good thing), or the person who was always on time (nowadays I am seem to be always late due to restroom stops on the way to where I am going).

I now take 4 Lialda every morning and receive Remicade infusion every 7 weeks. Some days I still have trouble with control and I now only go 2-4 times a day which is way better than 25! I also take a B12 each day which help give me the energy I never seem to have. I know things will never be the same for me again, I know I will never be considered healthy or feel as healthy as I used to, I know road trips will now be scary for me, I know I have many embarrassing moments to come, but I also know God gave me this disease for a reason. Each day is different and produces different challenges but I can do it because God says suffering produces endurance, endurance produces character, and character produces hope, and hope NEVER, EVER, EVER disappoints us (Rom 5:3-4). Each day I am able to get out of the bed (or run out of the bed to the bathroom) is a gift. God has allowed me to wake up one more day and live one more day. “Therefore, I am well content with weakness, with insults, with distresses, with persecutions, with difficulties, for Christ’s sake; for when I am weak, then I am strong.” 2 Cor 12:10

written by Brittany

submitted in the colitis venting area


9 thoughts on “Never The Same”

  1. brittany, i feel the same as you. when people ask me how i am doing, i always say that i’m just happy to wake up every day… even though i physically feel terrible. i’d rather be alive than dead even if that means suffering. i still find joy in each day.

  2. Love the positive attitude :-)

    I’m having a tough day today but sooooo thankful for my boys (16 months and 4) and to be here to love them each day. Good luck to you all xxx

  3. Good post, Brittany.

    Very well said. I used to wallow a little bit, and long for my former life and self…but, each day we are alive IS a gift indeed! There are many others who suffer more than I do…

    Cheers, and thank you for reminding all of us that we are okay!!


  4. What an inspirational post! I absolutely believe there wil be a cure or at least an answer for long term remission in my daughter’s lifetime (she is 6). It’s what keeps me moving forward each day. Stay strong and keep living life!

  5. Very inspiring. After 3 yrs, I still struggle with the “why my son?” It has given my entire passion again for God…we play the “3 Things that could be worse” game to put our blessings in perspective. Thank you for sharing. God Bless.

  6. I also believe that you will never be the same.. “no man crosses the same river twice…”

    …but surely there is a great possibility you will feel healthy again, if you search for a way. But acceptance and enjoyment in the present moment is not wrong along the way, if one learns how to enjoy a moment of pain and suffering then life is god!

  7. This was a great post. “Never the same” has never rung more true. I still get hung up on all the things I cannot do anymore. I am going on almost 3 years now and I am pregnant with my first child. I need to find away to move forward because I miss being able to run forever, I miss being able to lay on the ground and roll around with the dog or my nephew. I miss being able to cuddle with my husband. I miss it all, but you are right. I need to accept and move forward. Thank you for posting.

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