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My Fiance Has Moved in and Now I Have Issues!

Meet Lara:

I’ve had UC for three years. I’ve got a great job, great family support, and a man who adores me. I’ve also got two cats, whom I absolutely love and cherish.

Some more about Laura:

I’m getting married in three weeks.


Some blood with solid BM’s. Occasional pain.

Lara’s Story:

It’s been a long time since I’ve posted anything on this site. I had a colonoscopy a few months ago, which showed little improvement. My biopsies came back normal, thank goodness. No changes in my medication regimen. I take four capsules of Apriso daily with a multivitamin. I also get et Remicade infusions every eight weeks. That seems to keep me in check.

I’ve got a lot going on in my life right now: Christmas holidays, planning a wedding, learning to live with someone….. Needless to say, my life is stressful! I know that increased stress can aggravate UC symptoms and I’m doing my best to try to relax but I’m having a tough time.

My fiance and I have been together for six years. He stuck with me throughout my UC diagnosis and he still helps me monitor what I can and can’t eat. He’s incredible!  We’ve talked about my diagnosis but I’ve kind of kept my struggle private.  It’s nothing against him; I’m able to be open with him, but it’s just something I’ve just done. Well he recently moved in with me and now there’s no privacy. I guess I still want to be viewed as mysterious, but he keeps saying that we’ve been together so long that there really isn’t any/much mystery left about me. That may be true, but it’s just something I guess I strive for to stay interesting.

Now I’ve never lived with any men, other than my dad and brother, so it’s an adjustment. Not only that, we’re getting married in three weeks and I’m not done with all the final details! Our wedding is set for January 9th; so we’ve got to get through the holidays before we’re to be married. I love my fiance, but I’m not comfortable just yet with having a roommate, much less a permanent one.

I’ve noticed some pain, very small amounts of urgency; some blood. All my BM’S are solid though. I think it’s stress that’s aggravating things. Does anyone have any stress-relief tips? I know everything I’m going through is normal, but how do I relax so I don’t go into a flare?

Medications / Supplements:


written by Lara

submitted in the colitis venting area

3 thoughts on “My Fiance Has Moved in and Now I Have Issues!”

  1. Dear Lara,
    congratulations on your upcoming wedding!
    My husband was very caring, but didn’t really understand my struggles… I also, like you, like to keep some mystery in life… I think the best thing I ever did was to have my husband read Adam’s book “Feeling Crappy to Feeling Happy.”… After that, he was much more understanding.
    I take GABA for anxiety/stress.
    hang in there!

  2. Hey Lara,

    Congrats on your big day coming up :) Exciting times but when there’s a lot to plan that can definitely bring stress. It’s good you’re still having solid BMs though, not flaring yet.

    I think the best thing is to find out what is stressing you out the most and address it: Is it the wedding? Can you ask people to help you with the planning? Share the duties? As for the day itself, try to relax and enjoy!

    Or is it your hubby-to-be living with you? My hubby is SUPER supportive but he can never truly understand what I’m going through because he doesn’t have a chronic illness. We’ve lived together for over 5 years now, so he knows ALL about my disease (or hears it too from the bathroom). Yeah it can be embarrassing but the best thing to do is laugh it off, we joke about it and it makes things easier. Living with someone else isn’t hard, within a month you’ll be used to the new situation.

    At the end of the day, when you get married, you learn EVERYTHING about that person, so the mystery does go at the window. I wouldn’t worry about it, just relax and see it as a new phase of life :)

    For stress relief I go get a great acupuncture/massage session, go for a walk, watch a comedy, try meditation. See what works best for you. Good luck!

  3. Hi Lara – sorry you are having issues! You have a LOT of change going on and that can definitely cause stress. When my husband and I moved in together, it was a few months before we got married – I had never lived with a boyfriend before and had been used to living alone. Getting used to living with him and blending all of our pets was way more stressful than getting married! It does get better – so try to keep that in mind.

    It doesn’t look like you are taking any rectal meds – if you feel like you are heading towards a possible flare, I would definitely see about adding something like Canasa in. I have bleeding still sometimes, and Canasa helps. Recently, I did end up getting a flare and alternated those during the day and hydrocortisone suppositories at night. That helped the bleeding and we were able to get things under control.

    It sounds like your man is really supportive, which is great! I understand wanting to keep some mystery but sometimes it’s just not possible. I try to not talk about the nitty gritty of the symptoms, but living with me he gets exposed to some things that I would rather he didn’t. We have gotten to the point now we just laugh about it – we have had some pretty great laughs at UC’s expense. :)

    Best of luck with your upcoming wedding! Keep us posted!

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