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iHaveUC Secret Bathroom Pass

secret bathroom passHey UC’ers,

So here’s the situation:

My wife and I were driving earlier today.  It was time for filling up the tank with gas, and we’d had breakfast about an hour earlier.  So we needed to both hit up the bathroom.

And since we’re out in the middle of nowhere in North Carolina, there weren’t many options for gas stations…but there was one.  A dumpy CITGO station on the side of the highway.

As we walked up to get inside, there were not one, but TWO signs stating “Bathroom Out of Order”.  I wish I took a picture, surely you’ve all seen this before.

Thankfully, I didn’t need to drop a numero dos, but my wife needed to pee like a racehorse (maybe not that bad, but you get the picture).

So, I just assumed we’d roll down the highway another ten/twenty miles (20/30 kilometers km folks)…NOT THE CASE.

Michaela busted out to the middle aged gas station clerk woman at this dumpy CITGO station:

“Where do YOU go to the bathroom?”

BAAAAM!

The woman responded right away with:

“Go in that door right there that says OFFICE”

Problem solved.

I was out pumping, and asked her how the bathroom was…and she told me it was a joke.  No toilet paper etc…  So she pulled out a roll from our supply chest in the back of the van and rolled back in there.  And, after filling up, I rolled in and took a leak.

Not a super enlightening story.  But…

WHAT DO YOU DO IN THIS SITUATION?

How could anyone be expected to work a full shift at any business without a bathroom? (especially a gas station)

WHAT DO YOU SAY TO GAIN ACCESS TO THE BATHROOM when there’s an “out of order sign” or when you’re told we don’t have a bathroom?

Have you ever simply said: “I have ulcerative colitis, it is an inflammatory bowel disease, sometimes I poop my pants, can I use your bathroom NOW!”

If you have any lines that have got you into the bathroom before, PLEASE SHARE in the comment section below.

Who knows, there just might be an award winning line that can become the “iHaveUC Secret Bathroom Pass”.

In good health,

Adam Scheuer