I Took Off My Blinders…Finally!

Introduction:

I am a 48 year old mother of 3 beautiful children ages 22, 20 and 15. I have been a substitute teacher for 7 years.

Colitis Symptoms:

Current meds: Rowasa enema every night. .375 Apriso @ 4 pills daily. Just started Prednisone @ 40mg.
Fortunately, I’m very responsive to prednisone (I’m 4’11” 108lbs.) last week, however, I was in the bathroom 30 times a day. My worst flare up ever in 32 YEARS! Bloody stools, mucous(y) diarrhea, gas…mostly compromised gas…oops! and feeling 100% lousy. Finally accepted that this disease just doesn’t go away. It must be carefully managed into remission and forced to stay there!!!

Colleen’s Colitis:

I have a wonderful life. I live in the Atlanta area. As stated, I have 3 great kids ages 22, 20 and 15. None of which show signs of the disease.Thank God! I have an amazing husband. We are celebrating our 25th anniversary this May, 2012. I was diagnosed with ulcerative colitis at the age of 16. From the age of 11 to the age of 22 I had an alcoholic dad. He was a great dad, would have given you the shirt off his back, never violent just drank himself to sleep every night and then added vodka to his coffee in the morning… when he thought I wasn’t looking. We moved to ATL in 1980. I was 16. Back then a sweet little Yankee girl from Chicago with a bad accent moving into southern belle territory was not a good thing.I was a JR in HS and just crowned homecoming queen at my Chicago area HS!! I had a boyfriend that I was madly in love with! What happened? I had no choice. I came with my younger brother. I hated every minute of it. He got into sports and loved it. Mr popular! I stayed home in the fetal position in my bed. My mom couldn’t beat my dad at his game so she joined him. Wahla!!! Double the fun!!?? That was many, many years ago. I had to grow up way too fast. My dad completely stopped drinking the year before we got married…Sept 26 1986 to be exact. Why do I remember that so well? I had to take him to rehab. My mom was in Chicago helping my sister with her 2nd baby. Wouldn’t you have come home?? Exactly.
Long story short, mom cut waaaay back after dad came home from rehab. I lost my dad in 2008, despite the earlier years, he was the most wonderful man I ever knew. I was his favorite enabler (and fav daughter;) My 77 year old mom is still with me and lives 7 miles away and still feels most comfortable being in a Sutter Home state of mind.

Bottom line…NO ONE can tell me that stress doesn’t play a major role

in the onset and the duration of this disease!!

I have had untold colonoscopies…drugs…Drs…pain. I am done buying new underwear and knowing where EVERY bathroom is, this side of the Mason-Dixon!!! I have finally taken my blinders off…for REAL this time!  I found this site (YAY!) I’m on the SCD diet and it’s working!! I think I’ve finally saved my own life…or at least my colon!  Thank you for letting me vent!

Please know there is always hope!

Negativity will kill you.

Fear is a thief.

I’m praying that this is my LAST flare up…Stay positive, try to MANAGE your STRESS and stay the course! Thank you, Adam! Oh yeah, and lose the blinders sooner than I did…please!! God speed!

written by Colleen

Submitted in the Colitis Venting Area




stress

6 Responses to I Took Off My Blinders…Finally!

  1. Rebeka
    Rebeka February 29, 2012 at 8:00 am #

    Dear Colleen,
    You are amazing for sharing this personal story with us. I am 24 but my case is very similar to yours. I know that all the phsychologic trauma in childhood played a role in developing the disease. My dad drank and was violent. If you live in stress and fear like that it will eventually compromise your health. Thank you for your encouraging words at the end! I have been more positive since I was diagnosed five months ago than ever before in my life.
    Take off the blinders better late than never!

  2. Merlin February 29, 2012 at 5:54 pm #

    Thanks Colleen for that encouraging story, anyone who read that will feel a little better. I.’m on the SCD myself and only thinking of positive results. Good luck and God bless.

  3. Ashley March 1, 2012 at 5:25 am #

    Colleen, Thank you for sharing your story. I also grew up in an alcoholic home and have always wondered and felt that it had a connection to my UC. Thank you for helping me to confirm it and for reminding me to stay strong, positive and relaxed. It’s so comforting to meet others on this path who understand, thanks again and take good care.

  4. Melissa March 1, 2012 at 8:52 am #

    Wow Colleen I feel I have so much in common with you. I am 47 with two kids living outside Atl also.
    I also substitute teach and had alcoholic dad and I think socially is mom. I just found this site too. I am trying
    SCD but not religiously as I should. I am taking .375 of Apriso too, 4 big blue pills!
    Thanks for the post!
    Melissa

  5. Alice March 2, 2012 at 3:58 pm #

    My dad died in 2008 too. When I surrendered to the grieving that year, I got in touch with alot of things that rid me of childhood stress and finally I stepped into something new. With regards to the childhood emotional stuff, I do beleive we’ve got to feel it to heal it, contemplate it to understand it and take our power back by realizing it does have to be our story forever. It did seem when I pulled some weeds from my life (unhealthy relationships, emotional eating, projects or routines that didn’t serve my life purpose) I created space for something new. PEACE and a less stressful and more meaningful life! WOW! I realized the fight was over, I did not need to be up in arms fending for myself, sticking up for myself or feeling guilty for my dysfunctional family. I gave everyone back their own problems (lovingly)and took a look at mine. At that time I made my way to an ashram in India where I was surrounded by community and love, in 3 weeks – all my symptoms disappeared – as if I never had colitis and stayed that way for 3 months after returning! That is how fast the body can heal under the right conditions.

    Its been up and down and quite the journey but I regard this disease as a gift and a reminder. You’ve got it! Embrace your path, there really is a reason it happened to you, to me etc. Stress might not CA– USE the disease but if we freed ourselves of stress our body would have more energy to re-organize itself and heal! :)

    • Rebeka
      Rebeka March 3, 2012 at 10:09 am #

      So beautifully said, Alice!

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