I Hate My Guts But I Keep On Keeping On

Meet Ashley:

My name is Ashley. I am 35 years old and I live in Memphis,Tn. I am somewhat still a newlywed. My wife and I were married April 13, 2012 in Decorah, Iowa. I have joined this sight looking for support and advice on coping with what I may or may not have. Any advice you guys can offer would surely help and hopefully help with the stressing, worry and lack of understanding that I have with what is going on with my body….

Some more about me:

I am not the most interesting person in the world. I have a small obsession with Spiderman and Wonder Woman. Lol… I keep to myself alot and have a very small group of friends that I have had for years. I try to be caring and understanding and sometimes that can be used as weakness against me instead of a strength. I have ADHD so naturally, I am a little spastic and random but I keep it under control with my good old Adderall. I love tattoos and everything about them. I live in the city but I am from the country and from time to time, my countryness comes out! I enjoy spending time with my wife and best friend but for the most part, I am a homebody. I guess that may or may not be enough to describe me for the most part. There really isn’t alot to tell…

Current Symptoms I’m Feeling:

I am not certain yet if I have UC but according to alot of people, I have every symptom if it. Nausea, bloody diarrhea, or extreme constipation with a swollen 8 month pregnant looking stomach, dizziness, weak, my body aches but mostly my bones and joints. I am either in the bathroom all day or feel like I can’t go at all. IT SUCKS! But mostly it sucks not having a definate diagnosis. This all started in 2008 after having my gallbladder removed and has since escalated. Before my colonoscopy in October of last year, I was told I had ulcers, then pancreatitis, then right sided colitis. After my colonoscopy, I was told diverticulitis but after being discharged after a week in the hospital on I.V. meds including [but not limited to the Adderall and Celexa I have been on for years] Levaquin, Cipro, Zofran, Flagyl, Dilaudid, Prevacid, Tramadol and LOTS of fluids. I went back to the ER multiple times and evrytime, they gave me Loratabs, phenergan , cipro and flagyl. I ahd been onmost of these meds for a week at home prior to being hospitalized. Then for a week in the hospital prior to my colonoscopy. So if I had a flare, I am afraid that it went undetected because all the medicine could have got it under control.

I Hate My Guts

I have lost my job due to the doctors telling me that I didn’t need to work which was hard for me to hear at my age. I applied for disability/ssi but my case is still pending. Needless to say I have no insurance and all my medicines have put a financial strain on us. I contacted the manufacturers about helping feel my medicine but I never get a response. My white cell count is usually off and I am anemic but they say my xrays and CT’s come back good. My family helps me as much as possible but they are not rich so sometimes its not always easy financially.

I am worried that I am going to go undiagnosed forever!

It is so frustrating! I am waiting for my GI referral from my primary care doctor. I was given a definitive diagnosis for UC from my psychiatrist/Nurse practitioner and PC doctor. They put me on asacol but I am out of it now. I did ok the first half of the day while taking it but around the 2nd half, I fellt horrible, in pain a nd weak. Now that I am out of it, I feel even worse., Luckily I had flagyl and cipro on hand so I started those today. Does things get better? I don’t feel like my doctors understand. My patience is wearing thin and I just need help coping with all the changes to my body and life. I hate all the same test being done over and over and they keep scratching their heads and acting like they have no idea what’s wrong with me! I am patient for the most part but I am getting a slight bit irritated and feeling like I have no control over my life. Any positive input will be greatly appreciated…

Current Medications:

One a day vitamin
Ensure because food sometimes kills me!
Adderall 10 mg twice a day
Asacol 400 mg once a day (ordered from Canada so its the generic)
Flagyl 500 mg 3x a day
Cipro 500 mg Twice a day
Celexa 40mg Once a day
Fleaxril (as needed)
Loratab 5mg Every 4-6 hours
Phenergan 25mg Every 4-6 hours

I am honestly not sure if mymeds help. Sometimes I think so and then their are times that I feel worse and it is almost impossible to function throughout the day…
I hope someone can help guide me in the right direction because I am still trying to accept everything but most days I am miserable.
Thank you for listening to my story…

written by Ashley

submitted in the colitis venting area