I was diagnosed right after I was married, so I fall back on the “in good health and bad health” thing. We’ve been married over 5 years now.
BUT, I’m guessing there would have been some tuff days deciding how to approach the subject of my UC had I been diagnosed before being married and especially before entering into a relationship.
Wait a minute, I’VE STILL had a few hard nights wondering why the hell my wife stayed with me.
ESPECIALLY after sending bloody mush balls all over the bathroom for so many months back in 2009 when my UC was out of control.
So what’s the big deal with trying to date and start relationships when you have UC?
When do you bring IT up?
How much to talk about?
Poop talk with a hot girl/guy?
Bleeding out the old butthole talk over breakfast after your first sleep over???
Why on earth talk about disease with someone you’re interested in having babies with?
All tuffies to think about and comprehend.
AND, there’s no rule book handed out in high school on how to deal with this.
I spoke with a friend yesterday who happens to have another “auto-immune” disease. Not colitis, but vitiligo. It changes the pigment of your skin, and is very noticeable depending on your severity and what clothes you have on/off.
Anyways, he had a girl he was dating tell him she no longer wanted to continue the relationship.
Because she was worried her children would have vitiligo too.
Pissed me off actually, especially since he’s a great guy, and I’m sure way the heck cooler than this girl.(or so I thought at the moment)
OK, you get the idea.
Maybe you’ve had the same experience with regards to ulcerative colitis.
No matter who you ask, there’s no right or wrong way to deal with this in life.
Yes, you could get all pissed off, hide in your room for a month, start drinking heavily. Get all cracked out, or whatever else you do when crappy things happen.
You could take this as another life experience, learn by it, and help yourself out for next time.
I’m pretty sure I know which way I’d go.
OK, maybe I’d fly down to Vegas and get my mind off things with a two day gambling bender, but definitely no drinking. (No drinking is for sure hard in Vegoosie, I’ve tried and failed at that a few years ago…and FLARE MAN came and played, but sobered it up there many times too)
If you get dumped, or broken up with, because of your UC, yes that sucks a big fattie.
But what you gonna do? Roll over and die?
You better not answer yes.
KEEP ON GOING!
We’re going to be running a massive survey on this topic with everyone who is subscribed to the free-newsletter feb162019ihaveuc.mystagingwebsite.com/newsletter, and I can’t wait to email those results out to all of you when they are complete. There’s thousands of UC’er who got married, started long-term relationships, probably even had some incredible one night stands with people they met who KNEW FULL WELL about colitis.
AND, we’re gonna figure out HOW they got past the UC part of the equation.
The truth is, there for sure is someone out there who wants to be with you (and maybe a ton of other potential mates) and they will take you “AS IS”. They will buy the whole farm, no matter how much bloody poop you have flying out of your butt holes. It happens everyday. People with UC get married, and married to folks who don’t have any auto-immune diseases. And I’m talking about UC’ers getting married to hot girls and handsome guys. Believe me, I’ve seen photos and woooow maaaama!
So keep your head in the game if you’ve just gone through a colitis related breakup.
The worm is going to turn.
Good times are on the way!
sign up for the newsletter here: feb162019ihaveuc.mystagingwebsite.com/newsletter
I’m passionate about Ulcerative Colitis and especially people living with UC, the author of Feeling Crappy to Feeling Happy and Cooking For Ulcerative Colitis.
Also, I’m the founder of the iHaveUC website and I was diagnosed back in October of 2008 with severe pancolitis (the whole colon was inflamed back then).