I’m a 27 year old female, first major health challenge in my life. Up until 3 weeks ago when I was diagnosed, I had never been hospitalized.
Some more about me:
I live by the Atlantic Ocean with my husband and a tomato plant. When the UC was at its worse I shaved my head. So, I have a mohawk as a form of self consolation. Sunshine, paper lanterns, and laughter are some of my most cherished things.
Bleeding, fatigue, discomfort if I do not eat correctly, numerous food in-tolerances, underweight
Determined to Beat UC
Before Ulcerative Colitis invaded me, I did not eat much dairy, except for cheddar cheese. Now, dairy products are one of the few foods my body enjoys. The bulk of my diet is cottage cheese, yogurt, and potatoes (white and sweet). I have to summon my courage if I want to try a new food. I risk hours of discomfort if I eat the wrong thing in the wrong quantity.
My mouth says: “Go ahead, you love this food. You can handle it. Yum yum, go for it”
My wiser self says “I don’t know about that. Are you sure? Remember last time?”
This is very strange, as I used to be an avid home cook and baker, eating everything and anything my heart desired.
On my kitchen wall I have printed posters with bible verses, cartoons, and confessions regarding healing. I included photographs: A giant bacon cheeseburger, a glass of wine, and a beer. One day, when I am healed, I will be able to eat a cheeseburger, drink these beverages, and experience no adverse effects. UC is utterly ridiculous and unacceptable, so I take on a “I will defeat you” attitude every day by reading my posters and vividly imagining my life without it. I rejoice at every little improvement, and stay as light-hearted as possible.
I’d like to stop bleeding. There is something physiologically disturbing about bleeding every day for months.
Getting enough calories every day is important because I am underweight. It is somewhat difficult because I can only handle small portions of food at a time. I could eat a large portion – but it would hurt, so I eat small amounts just about every hour. I add extra virgin olive oil to the potatoes in order to increase the calories.
Above all I trust that God will heal me completely. No matter how long it takes – I expect it.
In recent days symptoms from medication have reduced considerably (thank God). I am tapering off Prednisone. I do not like being dependent on a drug, but it does seem to be doing what it is supposed to. The first dosage reduction was challenging to deal with. I couldn’t stop my hands from shaking and I was emotional so I spent most of that morning in the fetal position with a blanket. Insomnia was an issue for a few weeks, but now it is only mild. Disconcerting head sensations have been the most distracting – scalp crawling feeling and dizziness.
written by Hannah
submitted in the colitis venting area