My name is Kaybe from Florida :) I was finally diagnosed in February 2012 with Pancolitis after many years of an allergist diagnosis of a “sensitive stomach”
Currently working through my third flare-up…liquid poops, blood clots, pain, sickness feeling, sore joints and fatigue.
It’s 2:04am, during a flare up, and I am back in my usual spot…the toilet but I noticed now I have a new friend that comes to join me, someone who never tells me how bad I might look, how stinky the bathroom is, how much TP I am using, and why I moved the clothes hamper close to the toilet so I might rest my head and eyes for a few minutes while I numb my legs on the toilet…this unconditional love comes from my canine companion Bella.
It all starts with waking out of dream with a sharp pain in my stomach and the constant ‘bubbling’ or movement that makes me jump up in the darkness to make a run for the bathroom. I now keep the door cracked for her to nudge her way in because I now know that my canine love wants to be in there with me, no matter what. I hadn’t realized until my boyfriend told me that for the longest time, she would jump off the bed and follow me to the bathroom when I went, but I had closed the door before she made it in…she would lay down outside of the door waiting for me to come out…sniffing (poor dog!)
At 2:06 am, she is staring at me sweetly, rubbing her face and nose against my legs as if to say “you don’t have to stay on there all night!” I rub her ears as a way to keep my mind off the pain that I can feel swirling around my colon and let out a little cry as I feel a stab of pain and pressure in which she further scoots up and puts her one paw on my knee. A little awkward I know, affection while on a toilet? But her presence and concious gestures which I feel are just for me, helps me to get out of my slump and thought-process of just sleeping on the bathroom floor because I don’t want to have to get up and out of bed over and over again.
She then rolls over, acting as a barrier between me and the ‘head-resting’ hamper and spreads out her belly (her code move for her favorite affection- rub my belly). It reminds me of how much I want to scoop her up and snuggle but I cant, because I am still on the toilet. I finish up, abandoning my plan to sleep on the bathroom floor, and make my way back to bed with Bella in tow. When I get back in bed, she snuggles her warm body on top of the covers against my stomach-which acts like a heating pad to help relieve me of some of my pain and the onset of body shakes from anxiety and tension.
As you all know, the mental anxiety of colitis can keep you awake just as much as the physical anxiety. My Bella helps me keep my mind off how I am feeling in order to relax enough and catch a couple of Zzz’s at least! I truly believe that dogs can pick up on feelings and tension around them, my Bella knows my pain and does what she can to “entertain me” through it…I am the luckiest girl in the world. Does anyone else have an animal that seems to pick up on when you are not feeling well?
Where I’d like to be in 1 year:
After this flare up- I would like to be able to sleep throughout the night!
Apriso x4 daily
For Current Flare-Up: Prednisone :(
Near Future: Moving to Remicade
written by Kaybe
submitted in the colitis venting area