Being a teenager but feeling 70 years old.
Its hard enough being a teen girl battling the stupid images media shoves down our throat day after day.
But being haunted by this horrible, painful demoralizing disease and being a girl at sixteen is such a struggle even by me typing that right now makes me feel like I am making an understatement.
The truth is, I used to be a teenager who loved to get drunk and high and have boys always surrounding me.
It sounds horrible and typical and I see that now but thats honestly how I was.
And thats how all my friends are.
By this I mean i mean my friends are the typical 21st century self obsessed popularity ranked kings and queens of this society I live in.
But now being diagnosed with my Chrones and colitis, Yes, I have both and they are both severe levels.
Its hard to go out and be the girl I once knew only 11 months ago being myself.
I smoke to relive my pain while im surrounded by my friends smoking to get high and have a stupid time.
Where as I’m sitting there thinking this is pathetic look at me im doing this to get rid of my arthritis and they are doing it to forget their worries whilst im doing it to be able to walk and be able to laugh without having the feeling of my gut being squeezed and turned like a rope.
I truly have lost friends because I gained weight. Because I gained weight… honestly?
I was 10 kilos too ugly for my ‘friends’.
Steroids do that to you though dont they?”
They make you feel lonely when you have massive amounts of love around you from nurses and family
They make you feel angry and cold.
And they make you eat like theres no tomorrow.
I put 14 kilos on in one week and another 4 in the next.
The doctors told me they would make me better make me happy again they were wrong it wasn’t happiness they were offering it was a lie 2 weeks on steroids turned into 10 weeks on steroids.
I dont trust my body or my doctors anymore and neither my friends.
This story was submitted in the colitis venting section
