Hi I am a 31 year old mother of a 4 year old and 2 year old. I have been battling UC my entire life. I was finally correctly diagnosed in January of 2001.
Learning to deal with Ulcerative Colitis has been quite an adventure. As a young child I always complained of stomach pain. My parents would take me to see our Family doctor and they would tell my mother its in my head. At one time I was diagnosed as lactose intolerant and then at a later date I was told I was wheat intolerant. Both diagnoses were obviously close but not right on. Learning how to eat has been quite a struggle. Most days I have been beyond frustration and ate what ever has been in my path. Looking back, I kinda feel like Mrs. PacMan. The little monsters always ended up getting me with my trips to the bathroom. Unlike many of the posts I have read on this sight and others I am a little different. I can not stop getting bigger.
Most people struggling with UC have troubles keeping the weight on. Not me, I can not keep it off. I have horrible sugar cravings and poor self control. I have stopped at Tim Horton’s to get my family doughnuts and then ended up eating a half a dozen before I get home. I have eaten an entire package of Oreo’s in one sitting. And my husband knows if he leaves anything sweet in my sight he can say good buy to it. I am a closet sugar-hollic. I hide from my husband, children and rest of the world. I have joined Weight Watchers 3 times, I was successful once. The other times I have joined I have had horrible constipation from the dietary changes. It has put me in hospital 3 times in the last 2 years. So needless to say, I did not stick with it for very long. Due to all the difficulties that this horrible disease has brought me I have learned to adjust my life for it. I do not go anywhere that does not have a bathroom.
So living in the Mid-west the weather finally broke, and so did I. I finally have had my very last straw pulled. This week we had a very beautiful day. I decided it was a great day to take my children on a road trip. I got extra cloths for the kids, snacks and drinks. We got into the car and drove. I really did not have a designation in mind. I just figured we would do some park jumping. I found this great little beach with a fantastic playground for my children to enjoy. Soon as we arrived I had a terrible flare. I had to go. I had to go now. I ran up to the bathroom with a childs hand in each of mine. I went to pull on the door and sure enough it was locked. So here I stand, with my 2 young children biting at the bit to hit the playground, having to go with no where to go. I held my breath and tried to hold on. I tried to suck in all the air in my lungs. My son, standing next to me teary eyed, looked up and said “mommy what are we going to do”. The next thing I know, my digestive system exploded. I had bowel running down my legs and into my shoes. My son was sobbing. I was mortified. Here I stand covered in poo, with the cool wind blowing on my wet pants, freezing my legs with a crying 4 year old who can not play on the play ground.
I stood there for what felt like forever trying to come up with an action plan. I ended up finding a blanket and plastic bag to cover my car seat. I sat down in my bowel and started to drive home. We had managed to get about an hour and a half from home. I called my husband sobbing, he told me drive, just get home. As I was driving down the express way (I am going to get vulgar for those with weak stomachs) sitting in bowel bubbling around my bottom and legs. It was the most disgusting feeling I have ever felt. About 20 minutes later the bowel was starting to burn my legs. In tears I started to pray to god that he could find me a secluded place so I could clean myself up. I had to get out of my cloths. I turned down a dirt road, and another and another until I finally had my prayers answered. Here is a un-maintained road with a sign stating enter at your own risk. Luckily I was driving a truck. I stopped the truck on the side of a empty farm field and some shrubs. I got out o f the truck, opened the front and back doors and stripped down my cloths. It was just everywhere. I found a towel that happened to be in the truck and started to wipe my self down. I put my soiled cloths in a plastic bad along with all the other debris. The bowel had stained my legs and would not come off. I took my children’s lemonade and poured it down my legs to wipe off the stains the best I could. I had an extra sweatshirt in the truck which I wrapped around my waist and zipped shut like a skirt. I got back in and drove home.
This event is why I am here on this page. This is my last straw. I can no longer live like this. I am taking in everyone’s stories, diet suggestions and everything else to try to give myself and my children a better life. I just pray that my son is young enough that he does not remember this day as well as I do. I also pray that I do find an answer to this problem. Thank you for opening your blog so others can share there experiences too. One of my biggest struggles has been feeling so alone. I feel like no one else gets what I am going threw. I feel gross, dirty, and unworthy due to what this disease has done to me and to my life. I pray that all of us find a cure.
submitted by “Ishartmyself”
Medications: suppositories and colazol