My name is Cortney and I am 20 years old. I am currently wife to the love of my life who is battling the physical, mental and emotional pains of Ulcerative Colitis.
My Husband’s Colitis:
The main reason I’m writing this entry is not for my husband, but instead as encouragement and to connect to the people who may very well be haunted by the thought “If only there was something i could do,” for the rest of their lives.
There are thousands of people – maybe even more – who would argue that their home is comfortably on that cold porcelain chair. But there are even more who are waiting behind every bathroom door for them. And if any of these supporters are like me, they are spending every waking second doing anything and everything in their power to make our friend/family/love comfortable and in the least pain as possible.
I spend countless hours on the computer researching new tips or tricks to help UC symptoms, and when i’m with my husband I exert all of my energy on keeping him stress-free and comfortable. But the hardest part about that is the fact that my husband and I have been separated for about a year and a half pursuing our military careers. We see each other about once every two months. So when we’re not together i’m ALWAYS on the computer getting more familiar with the disease and it’s treatments. But when we are together I’m making sure he’s taking his meds, eating right, giving him massages and keeping him as happy as he can be with this terrible disease.
My husband and I met about four years ago, and although at the time I didn’t know it, he had already been diagnosed with UC. It took him just about two years to tell me that he had UC – I know what you’re thinking, how can he hide that? – but the truth is we’ve been a long-distance couple ever since we’ve met.
He’s been on almost every medication doctors can think of (Remicade, Asacol, Prednisone, 6-mp to name a few). He’s tried serveral different diets include the SCD diet, which he was on for over a year and it didn’t help too much. I even talked him into seeing a chiropractor to see if it was cause by pinched nerves in his back. But nothing has been able to help very much; and lately it’s been a lost cause.
With stress from work and our separation along with several other factors, his UC has spun out of control, and quite frankly, I’m terrified for his life. I couldn’t imagine losing him. But to be blatantly honest, I feel like I AM losing him – losing him to this disease. I feel like he’s giving up on this fight – it’s getting harder for me to keep his boxing gloves on.
We know our next step is surgery and it will be sometime this summer probably. But I’m so scared.
I could probably argue that, as his supporter, i’m going through just as much mental and emotional strain from his UC as he is. I’m ALWAYS going to be there supporting him and nurturing him into the closest aspect of normal he can be, but sometimes I think he can’t see the person he is behind his UC. I’m here to show him that UC does not define him.. It may be a part of his life, but in no way does that make him who he is.
This disease is probably at its worst for him and if he gives up I’m not sure how I’ll be able to not give up with him. I don’t want to see him struggle with this anymore, but again I’m running in circles around “If only there was something i could do.”
And if nothing else, I just want my wonderful husband to realize how much in love with him I am.
I love you Dylan, and I’ll ALWAYS be here for you – “for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, until death do us part.”
Where I’d Like to be in 1 Year: