I’d Rather Be Crazy than Sick

Introduction:

I’m 33 years old, a graduate student, mother of two beautiful boys, and own my own business. I love to run, camp, canoe and dance. I am not diagnosed yet but I am scheduled with a GI to discuss the symptoms I’ve been having.

My Story:

SORRY TO BE SO GRAPHIC BUT I’M REALLY KINDA SCARED.I’m wondering if I am a hypochondriac or if I am in denial about having UC. I’m 33 and my mother was 33 when she was diagnosed. I have been having nausea for approximately a month. Last week was really bad, I also had stomach cramps so severe that I was bent over with them. I frequently feel like I need to have a BM but then only a small amount comes out. It seems solid, not diarrhea. I did have some mucus a few weeks ago but this was the week before my menstrual cycle so I was hoping that maybe that was the cause but I can’t find anything that supports that this would happen as part of a menstrual cycle.

I am TIRED ALL THE TIME,

no matter how much sleep I get.

But today, I feel ok–still very tired, had some mild nausea this morning that seems to have gone away and a little back pain.I am also having a lot of gas and some burping as well today. I am a graduate student, own my own business, and a mother of two beautiful boys but all of this means that yes, I have a lot of stress in my life. However, I have always seemed to have handled stress before. When I told my doctor how tired I have been, they write it off as being a product of my life. But I know the feeling of tired from taking care of children and with sleep you feel better. I never feel less tired no matter how much sleep I get. The nausea is awful at times, I actually took a pregnancy test because if felt like morning sickness. I am not pregnant. I have an appointment to go see a Gastroenterologist but I don’t really want to go.

I’m worried about many things:

1. What if I really do have UC–I watched my mother get sicker and sicker and I don’t want to do that to my family but I’m also equally worried that I go to the GI doctor and they tell me I’m fine and then I seem to be acting like a hypochondriac.
2. I already have a “butt” thing where I am highly embarrassed for anyone to know I’m using the bathroom, I don’t want anyone looking there or touching there and I CERTAINLY DON’T WANT A CAMERA UP THERE

If anyone could tell me if they ever considered if maybe it was just stress or somehow they were making it all up as part of the early diagnosis that would be helpful. Also if anyone thinks I really am making it up in my head and I don’t have ulcerative colitis that would be awesome–I guess I would rather be crazy than sick.

written by Shannon

submitted in the Colitis Venting Area