Ulcerative Colitis Tips


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Dumped Because of Your Disease

Adam Scheuer (founder of iHaveUC and colitis patient)

Adam Scheuer (founder of iHaveUC and colitis patient)

I was diagnosed right after I was married, so I fall back on the “in good health and bad health” thing.  We’ve been married over 5 years now.

BUT, I’m guessing there would have been some tuff days deciding how to approach the subject of my UC had I been diagnosed before being married and especially before entering into a relationship.

Wait a minute, I’VE STILL had a few hard nights wondering why the hell my wife stayed with me.

ESPECIALLY after sending bloody mush balls all over the bathroom for so many months back in 2009 when my UC was out of control.

So what’s the big deal with trying to date and start relationships when you have UC?

When do you bring IT up?

How much to talk about?

Poop talk with a hot girl/guy?

Bleeding out the old butthole talk over breakfast after your first sleep over???

toilet out picnicking

Why on earth talk about disease with someone you’re interested in having babies with?

All tuffies to think about and comprehend.

AND, there’s no rule book handed out in high school on how to deal with this.

I spoke with a friend yesterday who happens to have another “auto-immune” disease.  Not colitis, but vitiligo. It changes the pigment of your skin, and is very noticeable depending on your severity and what clothes you have on/off.

Anyways, he had a girl he was dating tell him she no longer wanted to continue the relationship.

Why?

Because she was worried her children would have vitiligo too.

Tuff.

Pissed me off actually, especially since he’s a great guy, and I’m sure way the heck cooler than this girl.(or so I thought at the moment)

OK, you get the idea.

Maybe you’ve had the same experience with regards to ulcerative colitis.

No matter who you ask, there’s no right or wrong way to deal with this in life.

Yes, you could get all pissed off, hide in your room for a month, start drinking heavily. Get all cracked out, or whatever else you do when crappy things happen.

OR

You could take this as another life experience, learn by it, and help yourself out for next time.

I’m pretty sure I know which way I’d go.

OK, maybe I’d fly down to Vegas and get my mind off things with a two day gambling bender, but definitely no drinking. (No drinking is for sure hard in Vegoosie, I’ve tried and failed at that a few years ago…and FLARE MAN came and played, but sobered it up there many times too)

If you get dumped, or broken up with, because of your UC, yes that sucks a big fattie.

But what you gonna do?  Roll over and die?

You better not answer yes.

KEEP ON GOING!

We’re going to be running a massive survey on this topic with everyone who is subscribed to the free-newsletter www.ihaveuc.com/newsletter, and I can’t wait to email those results out to all of you when they are complete.  There’s thousands of UC’er who got married, started long-term relationships, probably even had some incredible one night stands with people they met who KNEW FULL WELL about colitis.

AND, we’re gonna figure out HOW they got past the UC part of the equation.

The truth is, there for sure is someone out there who wants to be with you (and maybe a ton of other potential mates) and they will take you “AS IS”. They will buy the whole farm, no matter how much bloody poop you have flying out of your butt holes. It happens everyday. People with UC get married, and married to folks who don’t have any auto-immune diseases. And I’m talking about UC’ers getting married to hot girls and handsome guys. Believe me, I’ve seen photos and woooow maaaama!

So keep your head in the game if you’ve just gone through a colitis related breakup.

The worm is going to turn.

Good times are on the way!

sign up for the newsletter here: www.ihaveuc.com/newsletter

Cheers,

Adam Scheuer




6 Responses to Dumped Because of Your Disease

  1. alex June 20, 2013 at 6:41 am #

    Hello to all,
    I just want to say that this more or less happened to me recently.
    I am still upset, angry, depressed, and a little bitter about the whole thing.
    Truth is though, when I look at it from her side, I know this difficult situation has been hard for her as well.
    I am doing my best to let her go, wish her well, and continue to work on caring for myself.
    If this happened to anyone else……I know how you feel.
    Acceptance is my answer today,
    Be well,
    Alex

    • Adam
      Adam June 20, 2013 at 7:30 am #

      Alex,

      You are the man!

      I’m sure you’re not alone in dealing with and going through this type of situation recently, but I have to give you the biggest pat on the back for coming out and letting it be known where you’re at.

      I wish you the very best in moving forward, and I know you will.

      Best,
      -Adam

  2. Don
    Don June 20, 2013 at 12:00 pm #

    I love reading your posts Adam. You always make me laugh dude! I hate being sick but you gotta keep a sense of humor about it for sure! My wife and I talk shit all the time. Recently we went to a concert and I was joking about meeting the band members after. I said if I have a poop in my diaper I’m just going to pretend it’s the lead singer and not me! I laughed so hard I almost pooped myself! Hahahahha!
    Don

  3. bev June 20, 2013 at 4:13 pm #

    Lovely…as per:)

  4. shelly in maine June 21, 2013 at 4:39 am #

    Nice Adam…great topic. It must be really crappy starting out! Those of us with our warranties expired our partners are stuck with us! :-)

    Love is..a partner who never lets you run out of toilet paper, will deliver it despite the smell, help clean you up when you don’t make it to the bathroom, helps locate all the bathroms-especially the clean ones! Doesn’t care if you left the bathroom door open cause there’s no time to close it! Puts up with prednisone mood swings, Happy at home… Etc, etc…great uc hallmark material!

    I heard on the radio the other day that we could learn a lot from our dogs about Unconditional Love…and for those of us with terriers they are sometimes a little conditional, but in the end will be the first one trailing you into the bathroom and sitting and staying there to make sure you are ok.
    Best all…Shelly

  5. Sharon June 21, 2013 at 9:13 am #

    Ok, my husband would kill me for posting this but since he doesn’t exactly troll this website….Before going on vacation he asked me to shave his back. Not that he is some caveman but since he is bald on top, any hair on the back is noticeable. He was so embarrassed (we have been married 19 years). I almost fell over laughing. Really! REALLY!!! We have discussed bloody poop for 20 years, I have had 4 c-sections-leaving my intestines laying on my chest for clearance, and nursed babies in front of this man and HIS embarrassing moment is a little hair on the back!!!! When he realized what he had said we laughed until we almost cried. He said “OK you win” and I shaved his back. The point is that when you are in a relationship with someone, it’s not all about you all the time. If you are starting a relationship and you are not healthy (maybe emotionally, physically, even financially) it puts a lot of pressure on the other person. Maybe the time just isn’t right for that. You will not always be in a flare and you will again be able to have normal conversations that do not begin with ‘today I was only on the toilet 12 times!’. If you were relatively healthy and things were going well until you flared, it’s better to know early that this person isn’t mature enough to handle real commitment. Better to find that out early than after kids, mortgages, family issues, etc. By the way, if you are dating someone who can’t handle your UC, they probably couldn’t handle loss of a job, a kid with autism, or a bad hair day either.

    If your UC costs you a relationship, I would wish that person well and focus on getting into remission. After that, I would continue to follow my dreams and passions. I found my husband precisely when I quit looking. Timing is everything.

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