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Blood, Anxiety and Humiliation

Blood Anxiety Humiliation in England with Colitis

Introduction to a super cool UC’er from England:

I’m Liv, I’m from England and I’m a young girl who was diagnosed with a mild (yay- for now :P) form of Ulcerative Colitis in January 2011 after what ended up being a flare up between October and December and a colonoscopy! :)
Symptoms I’m Having:
Doing well at the moment :) Except from STILL passing a lot of blood (concern?) and having the occasional ‘off’ day

My Story:

So happy I came across this website from Adam’s you tube channel! Honestly don’t think that U.C/Crohn’s is talked about enough as many people, including many of my family and friends still don’t understand it :(

Anyway, since being diagnosed with UC in January, things have been going pretty well, (well, better than I thought!) However, the thing that I’m most struggling with is the anxiety and humiliation of the disease. As time goes by, I am manning up and I’ll now talk frankly about my symptoms, yet I still refuse to use public toilets when I need to have a bowel movement, simply because of the embarrassment of ‘exploding’! This has prevented me from going on camping trips, overnight college trips etc which, I have to say, is getting me down as I used to be so carefree about everything.

Another thing that I get anxious about is worrying about whether I’m going to be ill or not. Like I’ve said, I have ‘off’ days where I could be going to the toilet 8 times in a row and having that bleeding feeling in my abdomen as well as general tummy ache. This springs on me at the most random times, which is why I get so worried.

Anyone have any advice on dealing with the anxiety and not being able to ‘go’ in public?

Luckily for me <sarcasm>, I HATE hospitals and my worst nightmare would be having to spend time on a ward (which I had to for my colonoscopy) or going to A&E; I genuinely hate hospitals, but it is made worse by my strange phobia of vomit and people throwing up. Brilliant. So having UC has brought this to a head.

Just another thing that has being worrying me and which I shall be bringing up with my gastro consultant is about the passing of blood. I seem to pass a lot of blood when I go which looks fresher than usual and mixes in with my stools as well as ‘dripping’ out afterwards. I don’t have piles. Should I be worried? Does anyone else have this?

Hope to speak to some of you soon! Hope your all doing well :)
Where I’d Like to be in 1 Year:

Passing my exams and happily getting ready to go to university, and a lot less anxious and content with my U.C! :)
Medications:
Currently taking 800mg Asacol three times a day!

written by Liv

leave me a comment below!